There’s a lot that you can do to improve your self-image and be more socially confident, if you’re someone who often feels awkward making small talk. Social confidence isn’t something that everyone is born with. It’s a skill that can be developed with regular practice, and mastered in public at every social engagement and interaction opportunity.
Chatting and flirting with friendly singles from all over the UK, on You’vePulled, is a fun and easy way to exercise your social skills. Building confidence requires patience, commitment and dedication, as well as compassionate and kind self-talk. Taking baby steps, towards your goal of becoming socially confident in any situation, will also help you feel more self-assured.
Shyness vs social anxiety
It’s common to feel some level of nervousness before, during, or after social situations. Meeting new people, introducing yourself, going on a date or a job interview, and feeling pressured to make small talk are everyday situations that can make many people feel overwhelmed and anxious.
Having a healthy relationship with yourself will help you identify if you’re naturally shy, a little nervous, or if social anxiety is what blights your confidence. If feeling awkward in social situations becomes more extreme, you could be diagnosed with the mental health condition of clinical social anxiety, which will benefit from professional help.
Confidence boosting practical strategies
There are many effective practical strategies that you can use every day to build social confidence over time.
To help manage nervousness before a social event, it’s a good idea to do some homework. Ease feelings of nervousness by finding out as much as you can about the details of the event you’re attending, so that you know what to expect in advance. The information can also be useful in helping you to plan ahead, and to create a mental list of topics you can refer to when you’re lost for words.
Even if you’ve taken the time to prepare with care, there may be occasions when the unexpected happens. Reframing how you usually view uncertainty will help you manage pangs of social anxiety that can creep up on you in unpredictable situations.
Shift your perspective
Try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Imagine yourself swapping roles with your super confident best friend, the most charismatic person in the room, or your favourite celebrity. Now give yourself permission to act like your playing the part of someone who’s naturally relaxed in any situation… Notice how your confidence level rises, once you let go of limiting self-belief and self-doubts.
Regularly engaging in positive affirmations will help to support your self-confidence boosting journey. Make it a habit to practice positive self-talk instead of the usual self-criticism that you’ve grown accustomed to speaking and hearing.
Be inspired by famous sports stars and speak motivating words out loud, in the privacy of your personal space, as you visualise yourself achieving your desired outcome in a social environment. See yourself bagging your dream job, a second date, or achieving something great at any event that makes you feel anxious just thinking about it. Soak up those feel-good moments that make your confidence soar.
While you’re practicing what you can say to be more socially confident, it’s also important to pay attention to the physical clues that your body displays in public. Body language makes up 55% of communication impact, with tone of voice claiming 38% and verbal just 7%.
Enhance social confidence by adjusting your posture so that your spine is straight, shoulders are pulled back and your head is raised in perfect alignment. Avoid defensively crossing your arms, and nervous fidgeting. To appear more confident in social situations, make eye contact and speak in a clear voice at a volume others can easily hear.
You’re not the only one
Although feelings of shyness, awkwardness and social anxiety can be isolating, it’s important to remember that you’re not the only person on the planet that feels this way.
Take comfort in the fact that the person you’re talking to may also lack social confidence, and feel just as anxious as you during certain interactions. The next time that you’re socialising, show off your best genuine smile, and implement the practical strategies that you’ve been practicing every day.
If you need an extra confidence boost before a social occasion, practice your confidence boosting techniques while chatting to a friendly stranger on You’ve Pulled. Improving your social skills and confidence is a lot more fun when you’re flirting with someone you fancy, while not feeling under any pressure.